There *is* an ‘I’ in Team

A team of individuals that all think the same way usually does not achieve the level of ‘high-performing team’. This is dictated by Intellectual Darwinism, which stipulates that to have a rich intellectual environment, we need diversity of ideas, experience and skills.

But a team so diverse that its individuals have perspectives, ideas and opinions with “too much diversity” can quickly become a group of people that can’t agree about anything. Such a group rarely becomes high-performing.

Common wisdom says that there is no I in Team; Reality says that a good team is one where there is a balance between diversity in individuals , and the ability to put the team’s interest and purpose ahead of individual passions. In another words, we need to have many aligned I’s in a high-performing Team.

Question your point of view – Paradox #3

If we go into a meeting with a strong point of view, we run the risk of
not listening to the perspective of others, and missing out on finding the
facts that will enrich our own views.

And if we go into a meeting with no point of view, and simply ask
questions, we run the risk of spending all the time going around in
circles without arriving anywhere.

To be successful we need to listen to others; choose a point of view;
Explain our perspective to others and ask for their opinions, so that we
can validate them; and successfully sell our ideas to those that are the
final decision makers.

We can’t rely on simple answers to complex problems; and we can’t rely on
complex answers to simple problems.

It’s all relative; Einstein himself said it.

The value of gifts – Paradox # 2

The value of gifts (irrespective of whether you bought them at a store or not) is not intrinsic to the gift itself. It relates more to how you came up with the gift, and how the recipient perceives the gift.

Give away too little, too rarely, or too cheaply, and your gifts may be missintepreted as something else than an act of Kindness by the person that receives it.

Give away too much, too often, or too costly, and the gift will likely be interpreted as ‘low in value’ by the person receiving it.

Giving and receiving is an equation that needs some balance; It’s what gives gifts the value they deserve. Yet someone, sometime, somehow, needs to start by giving away something that he values if the cycle is to begin.

Giving and Receiving: A cycle where the only way to balance it is to “throw the balance our of whack” by taking the first step and give away too much, too often, or something that you’ll miss.
Then the cycle will begin.

Or maybe not.

Compassion

At a very early age, I saw my Dad’s best friend (who was like a second father to me) die of lung cancer; like many strong-minded, stubborn latin american men, he took to smoking from an early age, and it killed him at the peak of his life. With his selfish, self-gratifying act of pleasure, he was responsible for leaving 2 boys and a wife to fend for themselves in this world. For many years, I resented him for that. I asked myself “How could he be so selfish, and inflict that much pain to his loved ones, when every day of his life he had the choice to stop smoking?”

Over time, I learned to forgive him, accept the mistakes that he made, and judge him with far more compassion. It’s been many years since this happened (I must have been seven or eight at the time); my dad called him “El Mico” Caballero (which translates as “The Gentle Monkey”), a very appropriate nickname now that I think about it. Why? Because we all have a ‘mad monkey’ living in the attic; I am talking about the incessant chatter that our minds create every second of our lives. If you have never noticed this ‘mad monkey’ you have inside your head, I suggest a little exercise that won’t take more than 5 minutes.
First, go to a quiet, peaceful place (for me, it is a place overlooking the ocean, but choose a place that works for you). The important thing is that you can be alone, not be distracted, and be at peace with the Universe. Once you are there, sit in a comfortable positionm close your eyes, and start counting your breathing. Every time you exhale, count a number. Here comes the tricky part: Try to be aware of how many times you either loose count; start thinking of something else; or get distracted in an internal conversation about a mundane topic.

What happened? All those random, purpose-less thoughts were your ‘Mad Monkey’ at work. The problem with him is that it usually talks so much, so often, and without a pause, that it makes it very difficult for us to have moments of clear thought.

Have you noticed what happens when you do something without first thinking about it? Would it be fair to say that most of the time, when you “think before you act”, you make wise decisions that lead to a positive outcome; and when you “act before you think”, you make silly decisions that lead to a mistake?

In the case of “The Gentle Monkey”, he made a mistake (choosing to open a pack of cigarretes) too many times for his own good, or for the good of his family. That mistake cost him is life, and created an incredible amount of anxiety and instability in the life of hes loved ones.

It is important to understand that mistakes are an unavoidable part of life – we are all human, after all. More importantly, it is how we learn. Can you remember what it was like to learn to walk? How many times did we try to stand, only to fall in a split second? How many times did we decide to stand up and try again? How many times did we decide it was too much work and gave up, only to have Mum & Dad encourage us by picking us up and making us stand again? And How many times did we gave up because it was too much work, only to realise later on that we simply were tired before, and now that we had rested, we were willing to try again? And again? And again, and again, and again until we finally made it?

The interesting thing is that learning to walk itself is the most amazing story of perseverance in the face of adversity; of tenacity and passion; of compassion and love. We have all lived that story. We have all learned the lessons that were to be learned from them. How many of us, however, have forgotten many of the skills and life-tools we were given at such an early age?

That is why we must have compassion for our fellow men and women. We were all born without anything; we all went through the experiences in our formative years that gave us all the tools and knowledge we needed to succeed in life. Unfortunately, some of us have bad memories, and twenty, thirty, or fifty years later, ended up doing things we are ashamed of. And many of us continue to do them despite the fact that we still feel ashamed and guilty about them.

If we know all that we need to succeed in life, why is it that so few of us experience total success throughout life? That’s one of life’s paradoxes and most perplexing mysteries.

We’re all human, after all.

It’s all relative – Paradox #1

If you seek absolute answers, you end up with absolute failure.

But if you choose relative perspectives without absolute passion, you end up with relatively mediocre results.

It’s all relative; Einstein himself said it.

Are you a knowledge junkie?

Are you a knowledge junkie? Take this quizz and find out!!

1. How many ’self-help’ books do you have in your bookshelf?
a) None
b) 1-3
c) 4-10
d) more than 10

2. How many ’self-help’ books have you actually read?
a) None
b) One
c) Less than Five
d) More than Five

3. How many Seminars (non-work related) have you paid to attend in the last 5 years?
a) None
b) One
c) Two
d) Too Many

4. How much was the largest amount of money you’ve paid for those seminars?
a) $0
b) $200
c) $1,000
d) Too much to name

5. If you were to describe yourself, which of these statements would most closely describe you?
a) I love connecting with people and finding out about our world by interacting with others
b) I love becoming a better me, and use a combination of books,
conversations over a cup of coffee, and seminars to help me grow
c) I love learning new concepts, and spend a significant amount of my time reading
Blogs, magazines, listening to educational programs and watching documentaries
d) My name is ______, I am ___ years old, and I have a problem: I am a knowledge junkie

HOW TO SCORE
Give yourself points for each answer:
1 point for every time you answered (a)
3 points for every time you answere (b)
6 points for every time you answered (c)
10 points for every time you answered (d)

INTERPRETING YOUR SCORE
9 or less: You are not a knowledge junkie.

You have realised that knowledge is one-dimensional (the comprehension of ideas), whilst realisation is much more interesting and real (it is 3-dimensional, and encompasses the simultaneous comprehension of the head, the heart, and the physical world)

10 to 20 : You are a ‘balanced learner’

You are one of those rare individuals that has managed to achive the right balance between growing the ‘know-how’ and experiencing it in your life so that you can truly grow as a person. Remember that our lifes are not like scales, where Balance can be achieved and maintained easily; Our changing environment will continue to throw pebbles into your plate, and throw you off-balance. Keep up the good work you’ve done so far in achieving a balanced perspective

21 or more: You are a knowledge junkie

Join a society. Admit you have a problem. Start living.

‘Nuff said.

Good vs Evil

Image : I Was Being An Angel Today by kk+

A few days ago I came across a stimulating essay on the battle between Absolute good and Absolute evil that is a constant theme in Walt Disney’s cartoons (link); and the implicit assumptions we are teaching our children by encouraging them to watch these movies.

Whilst I agreed wholeheartedly with the analysis, I disliked the implicit conclusion that we are better off stopping our children from watching these movies.

This reminded me of a simple reflection that I decided to share in here:

Things are not intrinsically Good or Bad – they just are. What is important is how we let those things impact us; what we choose to do about them (or with them); and what impact we then have on others. It is the latter that has the potential to be Good or Bad.

Can you think which other words could you put in place of the word Things, and get this phrase to make even more sense?

Let’s hear them…

Old friends

What’s a friend?

Two days ago I got in touch with an old friend : my best friend during the last 4 years of High School. In reading his web site (http://www.barrerajose.com) I found many of the attributes that I loved about our friendship, and many of the weird things that made him unique.

What’s a friend?

We didn’t connect for over 10 years. Our emails (when we had each other’s address, which was in itself rare) were short two-liners without substance. Yet in his writing, his poetry, and his essays, I find parts of myself I had forgotten even existed.

What’s a friend?

Does it really matter? It’s just a label we invented to describe what other people mean to us. That label is just one more inventions in a world of ideas. What really matters is the feelings we have experienced when we connected with him; the difference that he has made, and continues to make, in my life; and the impact my actions have in his.

What’s a friend?

Someone you can count on to remind you of the good times you had together
Someone who lets you know when you make mistakes, and helps you become more self-aware and learn about yourself and the universe.
Someone who forgives you for all the times you have hurt him.
Someone who loves you, unconditionally.

Maybe not. Does it really matter?